In memory of Jocelyn Sandberg, whom I knew not, and haunts me evenso. Archive stories will run for the next week, in observance of the 9th year since her unsolved murder
CC STUNNED BY KILLING
RADIO STATION MANAGER SLAIN ON CAMPUS
Date: April 27, 2002 Publication: The Gazette Author: Anslee Willett
Jocelyn Sandberg, whose voice was known to thousands of listeners of public radio station KRCC, was found slain Friday on a sidewalk in front of Armstrong Hall at Colorado College.
Sandberg, 41, operations manager for the station, was found lying face down by a college cleaning worker about 4:25 a.m. on a walkway at the southwest corner of Armstrong Hall, yards from Cascade Avenue and Cache La Poudre Street.
An autopsy was done late Friday, but the cause of death wasn't released.
"Most of the trauma was to the front of her body," Colorado Springs police Lt. Skip Arms said.
"At the scene, we couldn't tell if she was beaten, shot or stabbed.
"The trauma indicates some type of blunt object," Arms said. "There could be some cutting involved."
Sandberg was fully clothed. Police said they don't think she was sexually assaulted.
Police were looking at three to four scenarios as to what happened, Arms said, but he declined to elaborate.
Sandberg went out of town Thursday and returned early Friday, police said. Between 2 and 3 a.m., she reportedly got into an altercation at Dale and Tejon streets near her house, a block from Armstrong Hall.
Police found evidence of a struggle where her body was found.
Police were unclear whether Sandberg and her assailant continued their fight along the way or whether the attack resumed at Armstrong Hall.
No suspects were in custody, police said. A description of what Sgt. Ken Fiorillo called "one of the primary suspects" was released.
The suspect was described as a white man in his early 20s to late 30s, from 5 feet 8 inches to 5 feet 10 inches tall, and weighing from 150 to 160 pounds. He was wearing a long-sleeved light blue shirt and dark jeans and was carrying a small, dark-colored backpack or daypack.
"We don't have any information that says they knew one another," Fiorillo said.
Brian Kay, 35, who lives next door to Sandberg on Dale Street, said he heard four screams about 3:30 a.m. that woke him up. He got up to turn on a light and open a window to listen.
"I figured everything was OK," he said. "I thought people were just screwing around. But then it was dead quiet. I didn't hear any feet run off.
"I feel really bad because I could have probably helped her out. But you wouldn't think of a weird homicide like that in your neighborhood."
Sandberg's body was found a few blocks from KRCC, which is affiliated with the college, at 912 N. Weber St.
Her co-workers were trying to find ways to absorb the news. One called a friend who knew Sandberg. Another left the room to go on the air. One sat at a desk, organizing papers.
"We're still piecing it all together," one woman said.
Sandberg had been affiliated with KRCC for at least 10 years and became operations manager about a year ago, said Todd Wilson, CC's director of college relations.
She took the position shortly after Lyn Akers, 54, died in December 2000 after a battle with cancer, he said.
"She was a great addition to KRCC, especially when they really needed it after the death of Lyn Akers," Wilson said.
Wilson saw Sandberg often and last worked with her Tuesday.
"She was happy all the time," he said. "If someone was sick and couldn't do an air show, she was usually the first one to offer to do it."
Barbara Wilson, the college's human resources director, spent part of the afternoon at KRCC.
"As fully expected, they're quite traumatized," she said. "Jocelyn was scheduled to work at 3 p.m."
She said Sandberg's supervisor described her as "very, very vibrant. She lived life."
The college held a meeting Friday afternoon at Tutt Library for students and faculty to discuss Sandberg's death with President Kathryn Mohrman and police. They were told how to get counseling.
Mohrman said in the nine years she's been with the college, "this is the first we've had a homicide."
Arms said Sandberg's death apparently was not connected to her affiliation with Colorado College.
Friends left flowers, cards, a cigar and an apple where her body was found. They wrote words in black chalk.
"The beauty in your soul was eloquently expressed and will not be forgotten. I LOVE YOU," one person wrote.
Another wrote, "Joc - Thank you for your kindness."
One message began: "May your life have been lived the way your dreams saw fit."
Anyone with information on her death is asked to call Crime Stoppers anonymously at 634-STOP. Callers with information that leads to an arrest may earn a cash reward as high as $1,000.
- Staff writer Jeremy Meyer contributed to this report.
I'm re-running this post in the interest of equal time;
I can't hate on the RINO Romney side of this equation and neglect ol' BS Barry.
I loathe the entity who calls himself Barack Hussein Obama.
Barack Obama is the black Mitt Romney...and has already shown us his true colors.
Illegitimate in more ways than one....could he actually succeed in fooling us a second time?
If so, then shame on US!!!
I'm going to ask you a question that people will say is racist...and I don't give a damn: Obama "talks white" and played basketball, right? Well, why isn't there at least *one* white woman who claims to have had sex with him?
Let's move beyond race: where is the girl who had a schoolgirl crush on him? Let's move past gender: where's the kid who used to play at Barry's house after school?
I don't care if they speak English or not -- why are none of those people talking?
I received this email today and decided to photojournal it for you.
A picture that ran in the Chicago Tribune
Sorry, but these pics look photoshopped to me
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Read this through with an open mind. Keep reminding yourself that Donald Trump has hired numerous people to investigate. Major talk hosts and TV types are trying to negate this material for fear the land will fall into chaos. Maybe that would be a good thing. If just HALF of this is true we have an historical fraud and a cataclysmic crisis on our hands that must be cleared up quickly.
Obama-Barry and company or whatever is on a clear mission to destroy this Nation and deliver us into the hands of Islam and the Middle East . Seems clear to me and even clearer to George Soros and Kat/Van and company. We are DEAD if we do not take some kind of action very SOON!!!!!!!*
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I have no idea where this came from (other than a good friend of mine fwd'd it to me...). It doesn't identify the 'IRS agent' making the allegations, or who, precisely, did this research. There is the reference to Trump, but it doesn't specifically link him to who or how this information was acquired and/or speculated on.
Regardless, it does appear that some...if not all...of this has been actually uncovered and is legit. And it reads with more intrigue than any techo-thriller/spy novel of the last century. It's like the 'Prince And The Pauper' for heavens sake...it's that implausibly far out. It would be truly fascinating to find that; 1) all of this is true and, 2) watch as it's exposed. It would certainly explain many of the clumsy, witless acts he's pulled and the fact that they can't let him open his mouth without a teleprompter. He is, just as I suspected all along; a puppet.
George Soros with hand-puppet
But, even if this IS all true, open, honest exposure will never happen...the Secret Service, Dept. of Homeland Security, FBI, Dept. of Treasury, Pentagon, et al, would never let this be broadcast...even with some sore of 'spin' and the likes of Trump's money behind it. To the degree that people...other than Obama haters...would believe it true, the country would come apart at the seams; blacks would see this as character assassination and tear hell out of everything. The bastard's image has become bigger than life; too big to fail.
Ya know, the following sounds so far out in left field, it's probably all true!
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Ex-IRS man on why Trump is going after the Anointed One
The ultimate "birther" story. Interesting take. It makes sense that Trump would not take up this issue if he hadn't done his homework. Or it could be like LBJ's famous quip: "let him deny it."
Trump is correct, Barry Soetoro, AKA Obama is hiding something in his past that is very bad... and it may not be his citizenship. (Trump would not say this if he did not know something and he has the money to get the dirt...)
As an IRS tax examiner,one of many former federal jobs, I have seen what it appears Barry Soetoro has done, mostly by illegal aliens attempting to acquire a new identity in the U.S and/or criminals looking to acquire a new ID.
Barry, AKA Obama, was lawfully adopted by a foreign national, Lolo Soetoro, and Barry's name was legally changed to "Barry Soetoro". (Barry’s own admission) Barry Soetoro was also made an official legal Indonesian citizen. (again Barry’s own admission) The adoption would be noted in Barry's vital statistics record in Hawaii on his original birth certificate...
OR Lolo Soetoro may have always been Barry's legal birth farther. The public does not know for sure at this point who Barry's father really was and Barry himself may not know.
Barry's mother dropped him as a dependent for some reason, maybe even when Barry was adopted by Lolo Soetoro. His mother's passport records dropped Barry as a dependent indicating Barry was no longer a legal dependent of his mothers. (The passport records of his mother have been produced showing Barry was no longer a dependent when Barry was permanently residing in Indonesia.) Barry went to Hawaii to live with his alleged grandparents after Lolo Soetoro and Barry's mother divorced.
A "certificate of live birth" can have names changed on it including a child's birth name, and birth parent’s names. Even a modified date of birth can be on a "certificate of live birth". This occurs frequently for adopted children where the birth parent does not want the child to know who they are.
Obama with his family? I was given up for adoption and have a special understanding of the birth certificate question.
The public has no idea who Barry’s real birth father is or who Barry’s real birth mother is. (Barry could have been adopted by his mother) The original birth certificate is the only legal vital statistics record of a person’s birth parents, birth location, birth date, etc… I can get a “certificate of live birth” for a dead person; I cannot get a birth certificate of a dead person without “Deceased” on it. (I’ve tried)
Obama at Columbia
There is no evidence Barry Soetoro ever lawfully changed his name to “Barrack Hussein Obama”. There is no proof Barry Soetoro was born with the name "Barrack Hussein Obama". I’m willing to bet the name “Barrack Hussein Obama” is not present on the real birth certificate as Barry’s birth name or as Barry’s birth father. I have pictures of me with my mother and Jimmy Buffet… that doesn’t make him my father even if I start using the name Jimmy Buffet.
The public knows Barry Soetoro finished high school in Hawaii as Barry Soetoro and attended Occidental as Barry Soetoro where he did drugs and flunked out of school. After dropping out of Occidental, Barry showed up in New York, homeless and on drugs. (Barry’s own admission) Barry then hooked up with a Pakistani to live with and traveled back to Indonesia on his new boyfriend’s dime to renew his Indonesian passport and traveled to Pakistan with him.
Ask any law enforcement officer in a large city or detective and they will tell you homeless young men on drugs in large cities usually end up as male prostitutes. Barry ended up as a world traveler with a degree… (Not likely)
Barry Soetoro returned to New York from Pakistan and began using the fictitious name “Obama” for some reason. (again Barry Soetoro’s own admission) One could only suspect that a person addicted to drugs returning from Pakistan to New York, the main route for Afghan heroin into the U.S., maybe Barry had a reason to start using a new name. There are literally over 1 million open warrants on file in New York… maybe Barry is one of them?....
After spending some time in New York allegedly working under the name “Obama”, It appears Barry used the fictitious name "Barrack Hussein Obama" for the first time to file his federal taxes in Connecticut at a Post Office Box for the purpose of evading paying taxes in New York and /or to establish a new identity. (This is a felony with no statute of limitation.)
When the IRS received Barry Soetoro’s federal tax filing, the IRS could not attach the name Barrack Hussein Obama to the SSI number provided or the address provided. So the IRS assigned the fictitious name "Barrack Hussein Obama" a tax ID number for a person from Connecticut (Where Barry unlawfully filed a federal tax form using a false name). Barry Soetoro began using the tax ID number as his SSI number when using the fictitious name Barrack Obama. This is why Barry Soetoro has a Connecticut SSI number.
When I worked for the IRS, I saw this occur more than once and yes, it is a felony to knowingly file a fraudulent federal tax forms. Most of the politicians that cheat on their taxes claim it was an accident. That is how they get away with their tax cheat crimes. Using a fake name is no accident.
It appears Barry fled New York to Chicago using his new identity to get a job. He likely ordered a fake diploma to bolster his new identity as "Obama". Fake Diploma's were very big in the 80's and diploma mills were even being used by federal workers to get promotions. There is evidence his alleged attendance at Columbia was faked (Barry never attended Columbia) and Barry lied his way into Harvard (he had no transcripts to get in)... Including telling the Saudi royal family he was fighting in Afghanistan with the Muslim Jihad against the Russians, so they would help him get into a law school.
The Saudi's apparently loved Barry's story of Jihad in Pakistan/Afghanistan and paid for Barry to attend Harvard under the name "Obama". The Saudi family has admitted to paying for Obama to attend Harvard and gave Harvard a gift of $20 million dollars. Harvard in turn made their special attendee President of the law review a person that never wrote a single law review.... I guess that is what $20 million buys at Harvard.
It is unlikely Barry was a Jihadist and was most likely a drug mule if anything, maybe even a CIA street hire to haul Afghan heroin back to New York, so the Afghans could buy U.S. made stinger missiles with U.S. dollars to shoot down Russian helicopters?... I hired people over seas to do work below my pay grade all the time, even foreign nationals... I think this is the story Barry told the Saudi's, but he was most likely really just a drug mule/dealer and probably still wanted on an outstanding warrant in New York.
Barry’s selective service registration is not normal either…
After I looked at Barry’s selective service filing I noticed it was most likely fraudulent too based on the name he used. Barry did not start using the name "Obama" until he returned from Pakistan (long after he flunked out of school in California) His selective service record (maintained in Chicago coincidentally) shows he registered at a Hawaiian post office as “Obama” in Sept 1980... Problem, Barry was getting high in California at Occidental in Sept 1980 (Barry's own admission) and was not using the fictitious name "Obama" at that time. Barry began using the fictitious name "Obama" only after he returned from Pakistan. The selective service filing is fraudulent.
NEW NOTE - On the the Selective Service Registration, Barry did not have the Connecticut Tax ID number he used on the Registration until after he began using the name "Obama" in New York. More evidence his Selective Service filing is fraudulent.
Barry returned to Chicago and attend a semi-christian radical black church with his first female love Michelle. Barry admits keeping in touch with Phil Boener, who traveled to New York from Occidental to be with Barry and was most likely Barry's first love.
Obama with Jeremiah Wright
Barry still could not get a real job, because he was still a fraud, even with his Harvard degree in hand he could lie and take the Bar exam, but he could not work as a lawyer for a major law firm without a back ground investigation and he would never pass one. So, Michelle got Barry a job at her law firm.
Barry never filed a case alone and never filed a motion. He wrote lots of memos according to the law firm where Barry worked. (I think they know Barry is a fraud and don't want to be sued by previous clients) Barry rescinded his law licenses, so as not to be disbarred for fraud. The Bar knows Barry lied on his application. Michelle also had to turn over her law license for her involvement in corruption with the Chicago mayors office.
Jeri Ryan as "Seven of Nine"
With time on his hands Barry, a well spoken black man, was able to get elected to a state office, oddly because he looked for fraud in his opponents voter registrations and got his opponent disqualified from running. Barry a well versed liar was a natural in state politics. He used his political influence to get himself a position as a lecturer at Chicago's law school. Barry embellished this position as a "professor of law" which everyone knows is completely false. Barry was not a professor or even a specialist at anything but lying.
On a whim Barry ran for United States Senate for the State of Illinois. Politicians do this all the time to make a name for themselves even if they can't win. At the time the Republican Ryan was a shoe-in for the Senate seat, so no real Democrat contenders entered the race, but Barry did. On a fluke after the primary Ryan's wife Jeri Ryan (Seven of nine from Star Trek) went public that her husband was making her have sex with other people while he watched. Ryan dropped out and Alan Keyes moved from Maryland to run against Barry Soetoro.
At the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier; Mrs. Obama is wearing design by Jan Tanner.
Michelle Obama wearing another Jan Tanner design.
The election got all kinds of press because there was no blacks in the U.S. Senate and one of these black men was going to be a Senator. Alan Keyes did his best to warn everyone Barry was not who he claimed to be, but the public saw him as a carpet bagger. Barry kept the lie going and presented himself as a clean black man that talked like a white man... Illinois elected Barry to U.S. Senate. The Democrats had already began scrubbing Barry's back ground when Ryan dropped out.
Phil, Barry's boy friend from Occidental, was found working in California as a communications specialist (receptionist) for a dental hygienist school and given a diploma from Columbia and cover story. The rest of Barry's drug friends were all given jobs or money by the Democrat machine to keep quiet.
Because Barry was such a news maker as the only Black in the Senate, and he could speak like a white man he was made key speaker for the Democrat convention. Barry then decided to run for President to keep the lie going. No one thought to question Barry's background in the Democrat party... They helped cover up the ugly background. The only person jumping up and down warning Barry was not who he claimed to be was Alan Keys and he was discarded as just an angry loser.
Now we have a complete fraud sitting in the Office of the President. Clearly the most corrupt, inexperienced, and ignorant President in the history of the United States who's only quality is that he can lie witha straight face.
Barry Soetoro is as much of a fraud as Bernie Madoff and his house of cards will soon fall down.
Eventually, I did look at America the Beautiful Park from the sky, stunned to see that it was in the shape of an eye...a supernatural revelation that led me to discover a slew of my hometown's deepest, darkest secrets.
The 2005 Colorado Springs City Charter Advisory Committee Members. Hmmm..lessee...dead doctor boyfriend...wicked witch of the east... banning lewis ranch bigwig...leather tuscadero... current city councilmen...architects...d11 board member... wonder how many memorial hospital and utilities people are up in this house...? hachachacha
As I've said before, both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are creepy. Hella.
I mean, what's that weird thing Obama does with his fingers as he loses his place and forgets his lines? Reboot, Reboot, Reboot. So creepy. Definite turn-OFF. I AM SO PROUD TO SAY THAT I NEVER SUPPORTED OR VOTED FOR OBAMA, NOR HAS HE *EVER* BEEN ONE OF MOM'S BOYFRIENDS.
THAT GOES DOUBLE-DITTO FOR ROMNEY.
Barry and Mitt are in many ways like two peas in a pod. For instance, both men are strangely "mannish" and "lifelike"...like very high tech marionettes or robots, though Romney's affliction is by far the more severe.
Born March 12, 1947 in Detroit, Michigan, Mitt Romney is the son of Michigan Governor, Housing and Urban Development Secretary, American Motors chairman, and presidential candidate George W. Romney and 1970 U.S. Senate candidate Lenore Romney. He was named after hotel magnate J. Willard Marriott, his father's best friend, and Milton "Mitt" Romney, a relative who played football for the Chicago Bears. Romney has three siblings: Lynn, Jane, and G. Scott.
''A couple of years ago, the Doctor told Lenore that her condition would not permit her to have another child and that she would have to undergo a major operation,'' [George] Romney wrote. ''However, she had a lot of faith.'' After delivery, he wrote, the doctor examined Lenore and announced in amazement, ''I don't see how she became pregnant, or how she carried the child.'' Romney summed it up this way: ''We consider it a blessing for which we must thank the Creator of all.'' From then on, Lenore referred to Mitt as ''my miracle baby."
I'm telling you - something strange happened to Mitt Romney when he had that car accident way back in the day. According to what I've read, the French police on the scene reported that Romney was killed; and his stateside family believed he was dead for like six weeks, until Sargent Schriver (Maria's dad, George Romney's friend and the US ambassador to France at the time) made like a frog, hopped the pond, and learned that Mitt had survived with not much more than a broken arm and a bump on his head.
How does one go from D.O.A. to A.O.K.? I mean, they had telegraphs back then, that's already been proven - why didn't someone in France just call the States and let people know,"Hey, Mitty's alive and well!" This is but one of the details pertaining to Romney's missionary trip to France that reek of falsehood; how about his unbelievable allegations to have slept on floors and defecated into buckets...why? I guess way back in 1967, France was still an uncivilized island unto itself, with open sewage running down its gutters and martyrs being burned at the stake...?
It doesn't make sense...and I'm not buying any of this schlock.
Romney's business presence in the state of Colorado includes his interest in the Lifelike Company, makers a doll that was custom made to look like your child....which is *hella* creepy.
Surprisingly enough, the "My Twinn" doll wasn't the success that Romney had hoped. In my view, this was a terrible idea from the word "Go." The very second I first heard of it, I got chills and thought.."HOW TOTALLY HELLA CREEPY." I showed my six-year-old daughter the "My Twinn" videos: she watched them quietly, intently, several times looking at me pointedly and/or laughing while exclaiming, "That's so Weird!" I asked her if she wanted one...and she responded in the negative.
Maybe if they renamed it "The America the Beautiful Doll."
I wonder about Romney. Every hair in place, always grinning his Stepford smile and talking his dreamy-eyed hyp-mo-tize talk...always walking about with his weird, stilted "Hi, how are ya!" gait despite having both feet constantly in his mouth; clueless to his own creepiness like stinky people are to their own stank. Considering he's supposed to be so business savvy and successful...considering how long he's been in politics...you would think that by now he'd have learned how to act naturally. And I'm just gonna come right out and say that his wife and each and every one of his children have the same spooky, wax-figure quality to their faces...to their eyes....to their smiles; indeed, THE ROMNEY FAMILY MIGHT AS WELL BE THE ADDAMS FAMILY, SO CREEPY ARE THEY.
If he's not some kind of living doll, then what the heck is wrong with him? BECAUSE THERE IS MOST DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ROMNEY. Could he be autistic...suffering from Sensory Processing Disorder? Because in connection with the Lifelike Company (with a spooky sounding offshoot called "Lifelike Biometrics") comes Romney's association with both the Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation and Integrated Listening Systems. and the integrated listening devices they produce to treat the autistic disorder. Strangely enough, one of its more commonly reported manifestations has to do with instant recall, and an uncanny ability to memorize and receite large texts.
All of this "America the Beautiful" crap from Romney the torch bearer, emulating Wayne Newton and Rodney Dangerfield all while reciting again and again and again and again and again the words to "America the Beautiful" - when I consider it in context with the USOC/OIympic presence within A the B Park, I become uneasy. Indeed, his hackneyed "I love America" routine has done absolutely *nothing* to endear me to either the man or the park, increasing the creep factor for both exponentially.
Indeed, for me, Mitt Romney and America the Beautiful Park are the creepiest Un-American things ever.
Apparently, the Republicans are so soft that they are willing to allow a Barbie Doll to lead our country; well, I, for one, am not down with that. I fail to understand how supporting such a weird freak like Willard "Mitt" Romney is in the best interest of our nation...especially on the heels of the Obama debacle - talk about going from the frying pan and into the fire. Maybe the Democrats would throw all their support behind such an obvious android, but I doubt it...and there's simply no way Mittbot has garnered the majority of Republicans' support.
What does he stand for? What principles does he hold dear that resound within you? NOTHING.
To all of you who keep saying "ANYONE BUT OBAMA" -- THEN WHY NOT RON PAUL?!?
Sorry to say so, folks, but there is NO WAY THAT MITT ROMNEY WILL BEAT OBAMA; RON PAUL IS THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN BEAT OBAMA.
Mitt Romney is not the front-runner. It's not possible and it's just not true, and we all know it.
Ron Paul is the real front runner. For the good of our country, we need to eschew these fake poll numbers and this caucus bullshit and put our support behind the only man who deserves it. I will demonstrate in future posts that Ron Paul has the majority of the nation's support.
Here's the truth and fact of the matter, friends: If Ron Paul doesn't win the election: - then the American people are suckers; - then our electoral system is no better than Liberia's or Haiti's; - then America is broken,and has officially become a third-world nation; - then the time has come for Americans to wake up and take whatever steps necessary to wrest back our country from the rule of wealthy liars and Manchurian fakes.
GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! LONG LIVE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
Mitt Romney Finds the Funny in ‘America the Beautiful’
by Mark Katz Feb 10, 2012 4:45 AM EST
All kidding aside, Mitt Romney loves America the Beautiful. The Tactical Humorist takes a closer look, along with a little improvisation
It probably all started innocently enough: hoping to stir the patriotic passions of an Iowa audience, the once-and-future GOP frontrunner, Mitt Romney, spoke the poetic lyrics of America the Beautiful. Upon arriving at the “amber waves of grain,” he tossed in this kind of humorous aside: “Corn? Does corn count?" Earning him obligatory laughter from polite supporters and the ridicule of late-night comics. From then on, the lyrics became a staple of his speeches and so too did the many tailored asides to crowds in New Hampshire, South Carolina, Florida, Nevada, Minnesota and most recently, Colorado.
Given that there’s hardly a Romney stump speech that doesn’t incorporate America the Beautiful, it’s not too hard to see where this is going if he were to actually win. Maybe something like this…
MITT ROMNEY’S NOMINATION ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
I love America. I love the hymns and songs of America. There’s one I love in particular.
O beautiful for spacious skies,
You have some lovely skies here in Tampa. Raise your hand if you love the sky! Wow.
For amber waves of grain,
Is corn a grain? That joke killed in Iowa – which not only will I win in the general election—but this time it will stay won!
For purple mountain majesties
You know what, it's OK to like purple. But I happen to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman.
Above the fruited plain!
I love fruit! I once ate an entire basket of peaches! I love the people who pick the fruit. But let me be clear: I support legal immigration.
America! America! God shed His grace on thee!
By the way, I was born in thee. Ha, ha. ha.
And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea!
And when I say "shiny," I am not talking about oil spills. We need an energy policy that unleashes the power of America, not destroys it.
O beautiful for pilgrim feet
It’s time we go back to the kind of Constitution the pilgrims intended! Wouldn’t that be something?
Whose stern impassion'd stress
Stressed feet? Try being chased from Utah to Mexico like my Great-grandfather Romney was! You think your wife’s a pain in the neck? Try several! “Take my wives, please,” he used to say.
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Freedom from Washington regulation is more like it! Regulation’s not what made this country great. What made this country great is the principles for which it stands.
Across the wilderness
I once shot a varmint in the wilderness! No wait, I shot it in my pajamas. How the wilderness got into my pajamas, I'll never know!
America! America! God mend thine ev'ry flaw,
Or, if you prefer, our current president could keep apologizing for our flaws all over the world! I will never apologize for America. Apologizing for America is not what made this country great. Not apologizing for being exceptional is what made this country great!
Confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law
Not to be confused with self-deport! These souls should go back to their country and get in line.
O beautiful for heroes prov'd
Do we have any heroes who served in Iraq and Afghanistan with us tonight? Please raise your hand. Wow.
In liberating strife, who more than self their country lov'd,
Although there is nothing wrong with self-interest. I believe in capitalism and free enterprise. I started a company. I know how to turn this economy around!
And mercy more than life.
When I was governor of Massachusetts, I used to beg the people of my state to let me execute murderers. No sir, I would have executed Willie Horton with my own hands! You’re thinking of that other Massachusetts governor!
America! America! May God thy gold refine
God loves gold and I certainly would be willing to take a much closer look at returning to the Gold Standard.
Till all success be nobleness.
As governor and in business, I was proud of my success. At the Olympics, I was proud of my nobleness, and anyone who suggests otherwise is taking part in the bitter politics of envy. I think that’s sad and painfully revealing.
And ev'ry gain divine.
Gains are divine! So are losses, if you know what you're doing! Wink. Wink.
O beautiful for patriot dream
Any Patriot fans in the room? I hate those Giants too. Arrogant New Yorkers who think they are smarter than you, if you know what I mean.
That sees beyond the years…
I see some senior citizens out there. My mom is a senior citizen. You know, the great patriot Thomas Paine once said, “love our senior citizens, have a mom or get out of the way.” Our current president was elected to love our citizens. Instead he chose to have a mom. Now it’s time for him to get out of the way.
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
I once locked our family dog in a shed for an entire summer. He loved it! His name was Kickme.
And crown thy good with brotherhood
My father had a brother! He was my uncle!
From sea to shining sea.
Minus, of course, the East Coast liberal elite. I love the heartland!
Thank you and God bless America!
Did somebody say “God Bless America?” Land that I love. I really do love America. Stand beside her, and guide her....
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A former political operative, recovering copywriter, and failed sitcom writer, Mark Katz is now the founder and principal of the Soundbite Institute, a creative think tank that specializes in on-message humor. His essays have been published in The New Yorker, The New York Times, and Time magazine, and he is the author of Clinton & Me: A Real Life Political Comedy, an account of eight years as the in-house humor speechwriter of the Clinton White House.
