Friday, December 18, 2009


(from an adoption reunification site I joined in hopes of finding my birth family)

A 19, 2008 2:24 pm (PDT)

I suddenly felt moved to write...

I turned 41 on the 22nd, and it was a day of dandelion bouquets gripped in muddy hands, my children's faces beaming as they wished me a happy birthday.

It was pretty much just another day, and to be true, I hadn't really thought about much other than my sprinkler system, over which I had spent the past three days toiling. Truly, there were plenty of moments for quiet introspection as I worked in the front yard, sweating under the hot sun beating down upon me as I struggled with too many female connectors and not enough males.

I looked up at the sky and noticed that dark clouds had suddenly formed overhead; I heard the far-off rumbling of thunder. A breeze began to blow all about me. A train passing in the distance sounded its mournful call; seconds later a church bell began to toll, and I briefly pondered the sad wordless duet before returning to the task at hand.

It was then that I felt a touch upon my shoulder: it was distinct; I shall remember that moment for always. Something deep within me stopped me from quickly turning to look behind me - instinctively, I knew that I was alone.

And then this song popped in my head and stayed until a few days later, although I hadn't heard it played in some time. Something led me to look up the lyrics of the song, which I have attached.

Anyway, after reading the lyrics, I became convinced that my birth mother is dead - that I won't ever be able to find her in my lifetime because she's already gone. And I feel certain that she somehow touched me on my left shoulder on my birthday.

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