Bearish

You know…I missed all but the last 15 minutes of the Board Meeting on Wednesday. If it hadn’t been for reason and occasion of my TeeVee Land absence, I would have been pretty bummed out about it. But, it was a special night, and I had three large goblets of wine.

And I didn’t even say anything schtupid.

Alas, me, heigh ho – the Board, however, has all kinds of things to say; the dumbest things coming out of anyone’s mouth these days keeps coming from the direction of the left…I dunno, maybe it’s actually the physical right, but it’s that end over there where Jan and Luann play footsie and eat snacks and giggle and pass notes….it also comes from Gledich, because of his inane sloganeering.

He actually looked a bit sheepish when he started up this last time; sometimes, I swear, I feel like they feel like they feel like I’m looking at them.

OK, I’m gonna try to get this typed down and posted tonight…but in case I don’t, that will give me my third chance to take a listen to it.

Well, the the trivial and unimportant first: FASHION.

Bob Null was the best dressed man in the room, and he really looked nice. I liked his whole ensemble very much, he wore a nice tie…and when he started getting mad at Jan, he just looked a lot more in control than when he’s wearing some elementary school T-shirt.

Glenn has been wearing darker suits of late, which I really think is smart. I wonder if he shops at a men’s big and tall store…cuz with his dimensions, I just feel like he must have to resort to some custom tailoring…either that, or like a mismatched suit special on sale at the Men’s Warehouse. Nah…I’m leaning towards the on-site seamstress for Glenn. Hey – he’s got it like that. I KNOW HE DOES; KNOW HOW? Because. That. Fool. Is. So. Smart.

Charlie was wearing his grey suit. Loma – not there. Mann – not there. Tom – non-descript. Gledich – every so often, he reminds me of like a milkman or ice-cream man or something. I don’t know what Luann was wearing – something loose and comfortable, most likely. I really don’t take too much notice of what she’s wearing unless its fancy in some way, like with beads, or a pattern print of little smiling pizza wedges.

AND THEN THERE’S JAN. You guys…I mean, I don’t know what to make of it at all – either Jan is absolutely color-blind and clueless, or that’s just how everyone happens to dress on Planet Vomitblaus. I dunno – maybe she keeps doing it just to show me that my critiques don’t hurt or impact her…but all I’ve gotta say is that she has the ugliest wardrobe of anyone in the whole entire world. Yes – I AM saying that Luann dresses better than Jan…the school girls dress better than Jan…the K-9’s look better than Jan.

This is not my endorsement article…although I do have such a post in the works. But here is a slogan, or a maxim, or a truism – wtf you wanna call it: IT WOULD BE UNWISE TO CAST YOUR VOTE FOR SOMEONE WHO DRESSES SO BADLY, WITH SUCH CONSISTENCY, AND SO STUBBORNLY AND/OR CLUELESSLY.

Jan just needs to take my advice, and start all the way over again with all of her clothes; I’ll bet even her socks suck.

OK, with that out of the way…I’m just gonna riff on the sensitivities I got throughout the meeting.

So…in watching the meeting, I came to realize that I am just as stupid as all of them, because I follow them like they are the Young and the Restless; like Glenn is Victor Newman and I…well, of course I am Nikki Newman…or (less ideally) Ashley Newman. Aha!

But seriously, folks…I mean, I study these people…I listen to these people, and I have come to hear it…you know what I’m talking aobut…it’s that tone that your teenage kids get when they’re lying to you about sneaking out the night before. I mean, my kids don’t like to me like that…but I lied to my mom and dad like that…and I can hear Jan, Glenn and Luann lying.

I don’t know why Sandra wasn’t there…but I will say this: the meetings are not nearly as good without her as they are with her. I just have a whole new respect for Sandra after the way she so ruthlessly grilled Brenda LaBrasse a couple of weeks ago; I mean, she was a little like Lucy Liu in Kill Bill.

In this meeting, as well as the last meeting, I heard some kind of reference being made to a new “three questions” rule: guess Sandra’s gentle D.A. must have really been damaging somehow, because there’s now this thing I keep hearing about more than three questions is just TOO MUCH to ask.

WhatEVER, JAN, you flipping hypocrite and control freak. She’s always passing all of these rules that pertain only to everyone else, and only when it benefits her. “You may not say ‘Um’ more than 5 times per hour; Luann will be in charge of enforcement.” I guess I’d get a little nervous about opening my mouth if there was the risk of the fat lady sitting on me in seclusion as a “time-out technique.”

Anyway, the new rules all apply to everyone but Jan; Luann never breaks the “speaks too much” rule, because she’s always just saying, “Yeah, me too, Jan.” “Oh, good one, Jan.” “You guys better do what Jan says or else!”

But what I’m saying is that I have heard some kind of backhanded comments coming from Bob, Charlie, and yes, even Tom, referring to the three question limit.

I really don’t know what to make of all of the illness and absence up there on Board Row. But I’m telling you; I’ve watched movies about how witches will go and make other people sick…and it just seems like illness doesn’t ever affect Jan.

I know I don’t say anything nice about Jan…and if that seems mean, then oh well. I do not believe she has ever told the truth, ever in her whole life. I think she has been a bully ever since she was a kid. The only thing is that like, if Jan was just a soap-opera character, there’d be a chance that I might meet her in the store, and be like, “Oh, I see you on teevee all of the time; can I get your autograph??” And then Jan would look at me, and she’d be like: “Aren’t you Spydra? I have been trying SO hard to reach you; here’s that $16,000 I owe you…” THAT WOULD ROCK, FOOLS.

But this is what would happen if we ran into each other; like, if I saw her coming down an alleyway, I’d be afraid that she’d attack me and roll me, and then cut my head off and stick it on her coat of arms. Then, she’d just jog off, like a serial-killing jogger. THAT WOULD SERIOUSLY SUCK, PEOPLE.

Anyway, I have watched Jan’s hissy-fit over the course of the month; it’s about that legislative coalition that the District is no longer a part of…the one that enjoyed only negligible success in lobbying for the District’s needs and wants in Denver. And what would those be, exactly? Here’s truth and FACT: I have YET to hear anyone at the District say that something was unfair for kids…or fight for something for kids….oh, there’s all kinds of unfair for teachers, and I guess there’s some kind of change coming up that will impact teacher tenure.

So, Jan…let’s see what kind of answer you give when you’re on the spot and not the aggressor: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PLATFORM AND AN AGENDA?? WHY DO YOU KEEP BRINGING UP THIS LEGISLATIVE COALITION THING – GET OVER IT. You make me roll my eyes at you, the exact same way that you and Luann sit and roll your eyes and loudly sigh at everyone else in the Board meetings. YOU ARE F-ING RUDE in the meetings, Jan – FYI, THE MIKE DOES PICK UP YOUR SOUNDS OF IMPATIENCE. YOU ARE SO UNPROFESSIONAL, AND YOU CAN’T EVEN DRESS YOURSELF – YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, AND I’LL TELL YOU WHAT – IF YOU ATUALLY WIN YOUR ELECTION, THEN I’LL LET YOU CUT MY HEAD OFF AND PUT IT ON YOUR COAT OF ARMS…BECAUSE A WORLD IN WHICH YOU “LEAD” IS AN ALIEN WORLD FOR ME.

ANYONE WHO VOTES FOR JAN OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF; DO YOU ACTUALLY TRUST SOMEONE WHO DRESSES LIKE THAT?

Bob has brought up this subject as well, several times: it is a conflict of interest for Jan to sit on the Board of Directors of CASB and the D#11 Board at the same time – remember, Tami Hasling and the big deal she made about Al Loma being on the STAR Academy Board? WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP. I KNEW THAT CASB WAS FULL OF IT WHEN THEY SPENT THEIR BIG SOIREE AT THE BROADMOOR LAST DECEMBER, EVEN THOUGH SCHOOLS WERE BEING CLOSED AND BUDGETS WERE BEING SLASHED. AT THAT TIME, CASB HAD BEEN MAKING THE CLAIM OF HAVING BEEN IN EXISTENCE FOR MORE THAN 6O YEARS…EVEN THOUGH JOHN GUDVANGEN APPEARS TO HAVE INCORPORATED CASB, INC. IN 1978.

I don’t understand why you people don’t listen to me – if you had listened, and if you believed anything that I was saying, or if any of this stuff even bothered you at all, YOU WOULD ALREADY KNOW YOURSELF WHAT A FAKE AND CHARLATAN JAN REALLY, REALLY IS.

AND EVEN THOUGH GLENN AND JAN PROMISED TO FIND THE PUBLIC DISCLOSURE PAPERWORK THAT THEY SUPPOSEDLY SIGNED TOGETHER IN PRIVATE…BUT HAD SOMEHOW LOST TRACK OF…I HAVE YET TO SEE THAT DOCUMENT…AND IN LISTENING TO BOB NULL, IT’S NOT AS THOUGH HE HASN’T ASKED POINTEDLY ABOUT JAN AND HER PIZZA.

Listen: say that we were co-workers…and I came in three minutes late every day…I took long lunches, and then leave early. I mean, maybe at first you would let it go… but after a while, you would begin to resent it, and YOU’D START KEEPING TRACK OF MY COMINGS AND GOINGS AND PROVIDE IT TO THE BOSS…SO I COULD BE FIRED.

JAN OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN TARRED AND FEATHERED OVER HER PIZZA CONTRACT WITH THE DISTRICT, AND YET THERE SHE STILL IS. I CAN JUST IMAGINE IF SHE WAS A CONSERVATIVE, HOW THAT WOULD ALL GO OVER.

And this is the thing that totally worried me; I noticed it a couple of weeks ago, too.

Jan, when she starts to really lie, I mean, bold-faced lie…she starts talking really fast, and leaning into the dias like a man…she like rolls up her ugly blazer sleeves and starts saying “Um, um, um…”

But Glenn: I mean, yeah, it’s all funny that he’s my boyfriend and all…but even with the joke, I know that if I was in a place of financial difficulty, he could easily help me – if he wanted to. BUT HE WOULDN’T WANT TO. Glenn is SO. SMART. I’m not so sure about those rumored indiscretions with women some years back -- that fool is WAY TOO SMART than to let his “privacy” hold him back and get him in trouble with some woman – and I mean, I WOULD KEEP IT A SECRET, EVEN UNDER TORTURE. I don’t believe the stories I’ve heard about him anymore. GLENN IS SO SMART. He knows where to hide his money, and how…and I’ll tell you how I know: he’s the only one up there that I’ve never found anything questionable or weird about…well, I mean, I have, but following those leads literally takes me nowhere, at all….so he is SO CAREFUL.

And so, as Jan lies, she talks faster and faster and faster…but Glenn –- it was just like he flipped a switch somewhere…he went into some kind of Victor Newman Chill Down Mode…like he does when someone screws him over in business…all quiet and Welsh. He silently and almost imperceptibly shifted into some kind of slow cold mode. He moved a little slower, and he speech was SO measured, and he was not at all flustered; Jan KEEPS ON BRINGING IT UP, I swear, she is such a pushy, obvious woman, she has no tact and no taste and no grace whatsoever. But the same cannot be said about Glenn:

I don’t know what this whole legislative coalition is all about, but let’s face it: if being in this club was really that important to Glenn, he could just whip out his checkbook and pay for it. So why is it so important? What is the secret that Jan and Glenn share that has her drawing so much attention, and Glenn turning positively BEARISH?

I mentioned Gudvangen’s link to CASB…and I learned recently that Tami Hasling and John Gudvangen are like the President and the Vice President of the Board of the Foundation for School District 11; that’s one of the two entities that list Glenn as its registered agent…and I know it can be explained by virtue of his high-up position…but it’s got me thinking.

Schade.

I’m not sure what it is, but I too became chilled, and actually became really worried when I saw the way he slowed himself down…it was like the way someone would act if they were trying to prepare to pass a polygraph or something…or psych themselves up to strangle a big spider – man…Glenn would just wash his hands afterward and straighten his tie.

Chilling behavior from Mom’s Evil District 11 Boyfriend.

I hope and pray that I never find out anything Pizza-ish about Glenn…though I suspect there’s something, somewhere. If I were ever to find something, I would struggle with that information…and so I just look at Jan.

But I will be taking a much closer look at this legislative coalition in the upcoming week, cuz sumpin’ up, y’all.

Although the meeting had me audibly shouting “STFU, LuAnn” and even losing my patience with Charlie Bobbitt (listen, Charlie – do everyone a favor and stop trying to pick and choose your words carefully for these crappy people: just spit it out that they’re full of shit, and don’t hesitate about it; for me personally, it would do much for me and my support of you as a BAD ASS…go BUFORD PUSSER ON THOSE LIARS…I would love it so much more than listening to Jan and LuAnn whisper and titter and mutter about you as you.)

DON’T

I will be writing more about my inferences from this meeting.